Say hello to Baby #2 for the Tree Newt. That little miracle in the center of that picture is my newest little acorn, only 8 weeks and 2 days old. It was taken this morning by the marvel that is ultrasound. I wish I could have recorded the heartbeat sounding out its cadence like a marching band drum line! You can’t imagine the music that was to our ears.
You see, before we had Baby C, Amanda lost our first baby around the 6-7 week mark. However, she showed no signs of miscarrying, and we ended up finding out during that first ultrasound. So, we went from the heights that a couple expecting their first child feel, straight to the utter depths of sorrow, in a few short minutes. The doctor’s words “I can’t find a heartbeat” ring in my ears to this day, as well as the heartbreak I felt as my wife asked him “What does that mean?” as the realization of what it meant was all too clear to both of us. It meant that all our hopes, dreams, and plans were washed away in a split second. It was a blow that landed squarely in the gut, sucking the air right out of us for some time.
But, as you all know, that’s not the end of the story. No, two years later (nearly to the day, mind you) we were blessed beyond our imaginings with Caroline Ruth. The pain of that day in the doctor’s office two years prior was not forgotten, but it was muted some by the joy of having that beautiful, healthy baby girl in our lives. You would think that the experience of a great pregnancy and birth would alleviate some of the worry we associated with that first doctor checkup of a pregnancy.
Nope. It was largely unspoken by each of us, but there was this underlying sense of fear that we both dealt with for the last few weeks. Ever since we found out we were expecting (on Good Friday, no less!), neither of us said it out loud, but we both we worried about what this day would hold. I kept praying that I would trust God, that I would have the faith to believe in His Word and the promises therein. Promises like:
“I know the plans I have for you…plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11
And I tried to rest in the promise that “All things work for the good of them that love the Lord, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
Yet, I’m human, I’m frail and weak, and I struggle with my faith at times. I didn’t voice it to Amanda out loud, nor did she with me, but we were both worried. Then we went into the very same ultrasound room where we found out we’d lost our first baby, which didn’t help. Amanda looked at me, and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. As we waited for the doctor, all I could do was hold her hand and pray for peace and comfort, and a good report.
Minutes later, I saw Newt Jr.’s little heart thumping away, and joy flooded my soul. Praise God for His mercy and faithfulness, even to a sinner like me. I am blessed, and I am thankful. My cup runneth over.